Thanks to those of you who helped me through, 5 years ago today.....

Today is such a rough day for me. Days like today is when I would prefer to just stay in bed all day.
Exactly 5 years ago today, I lost my Daddy tragically to a motorcycle accident. :(
There are several of you on here who helped me through that rough time in my life. I can't
Thank you all enough.

Every year, I write a poem for my Daddy and I submit it to his everlasting memory website.
I do my best to keep his memory alive. His memory will forever live within me.
This is a second poem I have written for his page.
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If I Look Sad Today...
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Does anyone truly understand how I feel?
I'm not too sure they do, I am still trying to heal.
Yes, I am doing much better than before...
But the feelings I still have are hard to ignore.

At times, I still feel so lost and alone...
At times, it turns my emotions cold like a stone.
I wish I could explain exactly how I feel inside...
Some days, I just want to run and hide.

I often find myself fighting back tears...
Losing my Daddy was always my biggest fear.
One day it came true and a part of me died...
My feelings sometimes, I have to keep deep inside.

No one truly understands what I go through in my heart...
It still kills me to know that forever we'll still be apart.
My Daddy meant the world to me and more...
We just had this relationship we both adored.

He held me together when I would come undone...
He talked sense into me when my mind was on the run.
I miss him more than I can make anyone understand...
Times like this, I wish he was here to hold my hand.

As I sit writing this with tears streaming down my face....
I am still confident he left this world with grace...
If he were here now, I would hug him so tight...
And he would hug me back & assure me I would be alright.

Today has been 5 years since he had to go...
I miss him more than anyone will ever know.
A piece of me died when we lost him that day...
Another piece died when I scattered his ashes in the Bay.

I hurt inside, the pain is very real...
I'm not so sure that my heart will fully heal.
It's been so long, I miss our Sunday talks....
It's been too long, I miss the fun little walks.

I miss the silly things he would say...
Why in the hell did he have to go away?
I am hurt and sad and in so much pain....
I miss my Daddy like the deserts miss the rain.

He was always there to offer a smile...
He would go out of his way and walk that extra mile.
So strong and so sensitive all in the same...
Him leaving is such a damn shame.

I feel closer to him when I am back "home"...
Being in Florida keeps me from feeling so alone.
I'm not sure what the connection is right there...
I'm so torn, it's so unfair.

I wish I could go down there a lot more...
I wish I had more time to walk the shore.
I need to go visit his spot...
His spot is now all I got.

Another year passes and it is still hard...
Another Anniversary without his thoughtful cards.
I would give anything for one last hug or kiss...
If I look sad today, know that it's my Daddy that I miss.

EBS
2/12/09