A love here and gone (4 c.e.d.)

my heart has been so confused
i love so much and hurt too and
dont understand the things in
my life and have made so many
mistakes and want to cry so much and
without you in it and i made the choice
and some times you make choices
that arent right and sometimes they
hurt others so and your mind and heart
dont understand which way to feel and you
know that if its ment to be it will hopefully
come back in your life and help you even though
you feel like your world is really falling
apart i have had alot of ups and downs
but the one thing that stayed and remained
was the love that you had for me was the same
i had a love that was so sweet and kind in my mind
it was sometimes cold sometimes intense and
ive lost the only thing in the world that made
any sense to me and dont know how to go on
and breath each day and cry tears so full of
pain and anger and fear and remorse for
giving it all up but if my angel is out there
please know that i need you always in my life
and cant make it without you and your smile
and the eyes so full of pain that made me smile
each day and helped me along the way your love
was true and full and unconditional i dont how
to go on and smile through the pain my heart
is wrenching out right now and angry for the
feelings im having im unsure and afraid to
take each step each day and know that i
did this to you and didnt even give you the
chance to show that love to me that i knew
was there all along so i beg you please to
help me hold on oh please help me to try
and be not sad and and cry and
smile through this hurt and pain
cause i know forever it will remain................

dedicated to a heart of smiles i know
you be there in mine to forever remain.
by sandi k salyers
nov 8th 2009