"Live from the Artists Den: Kid Rock" premieres Friday, February 24th on public television and on Hulu nationwide. Check your local listings for air dates and times. For more information visit ArtistsDen.com.
"Live from the Artists Den: Kid Rock" premieres Friday, February 24th on public television and on Hulu nationwide. Check your local listings for air dates and times. For more information visit ArtistsDen.com.
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I am soul-sorry, my love, as
I am soul-sorry, my love, as much as I pray for Minot, for my first live opportunity to have my COWBOY TAKE ME AWAY into his artistry, I cannot in good conscious make the trip. As my lyrics to you tell me again “I’m all out of hopes now & my dreams” because “my hope filled eyes…dulled…’cause I finally realize” my financial obligations prevent my dream, my road trip to you. Dreams dashed again only because of paper…but I promised Him I would use my resources responsibly, learning from past learning curves, so while I am unable to meet current obligations, I cannot test Him or fly in the face of His grace by pushing more. I had to let go of my dream, yet again in my life, for I cannot force His hand, for He has me where I’m at, doing what He asks, in the position I find myself. I am who I am. I didn’t want to tell you, but He told me, “Anna, you must, EVEN IF IT BREAKS YOUR HEART and it did. And still does. My tears flowed when He shared with me what I must do; I dried my tears, rode by the pink house with the wind drying more, to Winky’s to tell you as soon as I knew. My heart is broken, my pain is palpable, & my tears are fresh. “My soul feels dead…but with Your grace and love, I know I’ll find hope once again.” I have no regrets over my financial choices because, while I’ve had my own stupid learning curves, I also got to spread His love when I had money. I got to treat my mom to her first NYC experience complete with first limo ride (her joyful smiling face from it brings me comfort now) & I took her to CA for her father’s funeral, when otherwise she wasn't going to go, because of paper. I’ve tried my best to support my roommate during his illness & difficulties, worth every penny because he now knows God, when he didn’t before. Some things are more important to me than my temporal credit rating. No drama; no regrets, but please forgive me, my love, I guess I’ll be away a little longer.
Hello & Happy Wednesday, RJR!
Hello & Happy Wednesday, RJR! I awoke, again, with thoughts of you…and the “show off’ piece sticking in my craw. While the opportunity was enticing, I worked hard not to show them I’m all out of bubble gum. I also posted my comment on their website. After saying good night to you, I checked in with Cassie & Richard (21 year old dishwasher). Multiple hugs & my admiration for Richard as he drove with Cassie & her young son the night before to make sure they got to her aunt’s safely & to offer his emotional support. He is a good, young man. He reminds me of Junior & how you have raised him to also be one. No greater service to humanity can be rendered. Thank you. I got chilly around 9, so I put on my green sweater; but before it I did a bunch of stuff around the house in my learning about & doing more things without it. Afterwards, I enjoyed “The Italian Job” & my bouncy ball stretches. Oh, & then Legally Blonde 2 :) I had my Communication Law class watch it during class time the week before spring break. Students need a break & are all thinking it, but I felt humor may also teach our youth who are learning to help lead our country. I’m not a complete Elle Woods, but I believe strongly in her actions of bringing power to the people & her ending speech in front of both the House & Senate, with regards to speaking for others who are not able to speak. She said: “I witnessed this injustice, but I didn’t get involved in the process. I forgot to use my voice. I forgot to believe in myself. But now I know better. I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd. I know that if we lose our voice or if we let those who speak on our behalf compromise our voice, then this country is in for a really bad [experience]. So speak up America. Speak up. Speak up for the home of the brave, the land of the free… Speak up America. Speak up. And remember, you are beautiful.” Thank you, for all you are, for inspiring me & providing me my opportunity to speak up. God bless you, RJR!
I do have to say, you’ve
I do have to say, you’ve given me new wind in my sails today, my love. Thank you. I enjoyed peeking through the Cruise info & looking at pictures & comments. I am refreshed. I may comment individually on those later; right now, I’m enjoying spending time with you & only talking with you in our special place you created just for us. You are so sweet & good to me. Thank you for your protection. I’m listening to your album as I write this, likely my last post for the evening. I feel better, a little more energy, so we’ll see about the lawn, but I’d like to also dead-head my roses so they may continue to grow & blossom, plus I am going to start packing. I still don’t know details but Thessalonians encouraged me to continue on & keep taking my baby steps…so, packing needs done, why not do it? I always sing & dance when I listen to music, but with yours I find often I don’t sing (maybe lip-sync); I only want to hear the sound of your voice in my ears…in my head…in my body…in my soul. I’m not even lip-syncing now; just chair dancing as I write this, for I cannot resist your beat…I am a dancing lady supporting her precious Prince Rockstar. Glad I checked another devotional, so I’m definitely gonna pack. “Clarity: I am centered in God and maintain a clear vision...If I am unable to see my way through troubling circumstances, my perspective may be clouded by uncertainty, negativity or self-doubt. As I remove these obstacles, my vision clears, & I more readily see the truth of the situation. To achieve clarity of thought, I relax into the presence of God in prayer. I release fear & doubt & open my heart & mind to Divine Mind. Centered in God within, I make decisions more easily & confidently. I maintain a clear vision.” Again, He’s good. I’m going to go home now & put on my green sweater. I’ve found I don’t like writing to you with it on. Good thing for me. I love spending my days writing to you & they fly by! Hope your Tuesday was fabulous! Mine was :) Sweet dreams.
Funny…or well-coordinated…my
Funny…or well-coordinated…my devotional today said “Go With The Flow.” Is He good or what? “Brethren, for this reason, in [spite of all] our stress & crushing difficulties we have been filled with comfort & cheer about you [because of] your faith (the leaning of your whole personality on God in complete trust & confidence). 1 Thessalonians 3:7” [Thessalonians was likely the first of Paul’s letters (AD 52), & so believed to be the first written New Testament book. The letter is mainly personal in nature with Paul’s main purpose to encourage & reassure.] Mrs. Joyce Meyer adds: ‘Go with the flow, & stop being anxious about things that may never happen. If you really trust God, you don’t need a backup plan. Faith means that you have peace even when you don’t have all the answers. Life will always be stressful if you constantly try to rearrange it. For example, getting upset in a traffic jam doesn’t get you out of it any sooner. But planning for obstacles will inspire you to leave a little earlier for your appointments & keep you from hurrying. Grow in wisdom, & place high priority on keeping your peace in spite of any jams you get into today.’ My black shorts, tank, & color-coordinated undergarments were perfect for the warm bike ride past the pink house & I was greeted with a whistle & a hug by my favorite librarian. My purple shamrock came from her clippings. It’s the first plant I’ve ever started by growing its own roots. She lost her husband to leukemia some months ago, but God brought her a loving man who lights up her world & she shines brightly. She & her husband had a tree planted in my mother’s name in the Bitterroot National Forest. I cry now at how deeply touched I still am. She welcomed me to our darling & awesome Villagers’ library. I was reminded (by it on a shelf) of the awesomeness of ”Up Country” by Nelson DeMille…an easy read or listen to…guy kicking ass adventure as an army investigator asked to return to Vietnam 30 years after a suspected murder.
As I go about my chores, I
As I go about my chores, I find they are now pleasures…allowing thoughts & feelings to wash over me, heal & give me different perspective. I watered my plants, enjoying that they came from special people in my life. A few from the Swedish apartment couple & the majority are ones mom had when she passed. I have shamrocks, given by dear friends, but they remind me daily of my mom & my artist grandma’s husband, my grandpa, Vernon ‘Jiggs’ Cunneen. He grew shamrocks & roses. I vaguely remember his rose tending, for he died in 1981; mom told me he always asked her to split & repot his shamrocks for him. Their roots are like itty bitty carrots. Grandpa was Irish, a ranger at Blue Mounds State Park, drove a red Jeep wrangler, & was a carpenter of sorts, for he made many wooden treasures I still have & cherish. Often, grandma added her painting touch to them; they made a beautiful team & loved spending time together like my married neighbors. I was his special granddaughter; he kept a large photo of me on his coffee table next to his chair, along with his coffee cup & trivet (which I cleaned each time I visited so, even if I didn’t get to see him, we still said I love you to each other). I have all 3 items. I also have the children’s Bunny Table & chairs he made (which I’d like to restore). We shared a beautiful family grandpa-granddaughter love. I found out for the first time in 1979, when my parents were divorcing, that he was not my biological grandpa. I felt jipped & wrong for loving him like I did because society’s rules said he wasn’t my grandpa because his blood wasn’t in mine. But, what I didn’t know then, but do now, is that society is wrong…for spirit is stronger & eternal; blood is temporal. My grandpa’s spirit & love comfort & support me; they have all my life. He’s with me everywhere I look, so my heart truth is that he was, is, & always will be my grandpa. Thank you, my Beloved, for listening to my so-deep-I-didn’t-know-it-was-there heart-scar as it healed.
How’s the laughing & smiling
How’s the laughing & smiling going? I had a bit from Winky’s 21 year old dishwasher yesterday who’s T-shirt said ‘Only God Can Judge Me’ with a Nun holding a shotgun & kissing its barrel. He thought his father needed an update so he bought his bald father a T-shirt, too, reading ‘Lost my hair. Kept my big dick.” We enjoyed a bit of laughter. YOU’RE STILL THE ONE, though, sweetheart, who brings me the greatest laughter, smiles, & soul joy. Sometimes I wonder why He has me where I’m at, when I’m there…I guess I just gotta have faith & keep my eyes open. I love you sang ‘Fucking Forty’ in Peru. I love your song! Thank you for the huge grin & shoulders-moving laughter. I spent my evening after saying good night to you with my broken up neighbor. His girl of 5 years left yesterday for Florida without allowing him to say good bye to her or her dogs which he helped raise. He needed to process with a calming friend (for which he thanked me) & he needed to giggle (& so did I) so he showed me his hot knife burn in his kitchen carpet from his previous activities which I offer to prove we were having fun. I hadn’t ever worked with hot knives before, so I thanked him for teaching me. I was warm with my green sweater on. Part of the evening was sitting on his front stoop, smoking cigarettes & drinking PBR (his favorite because it’s red, white, & blue with a ribbon on it). I have another 2000 to share about his musings, which are deep & strong about drama & being a proud American which reminded me of you, but I’ll be working on that for another time. Thank you for being there with me last night for He showed me the promise of fun, intelligent, soulful times to come with you & you soothed my soul. I just enjoyed a cigarette in my garage with the new doors; it’s lovely because they don’t have windows in them now so I could enjoy my time with my robe off. I like being naked; I’m not saying this with sexual overtones. I just have always enjoyed it all my life & how free I feel.
Spending time with family at
Spending time with family at home…does that mean Junior is home? How is he? Is he, like his father, having fun, too? I do so truly hope so. I am happy – soul happy – you did everything you could over such a busy weekend to come home to spend time with him. You are a good man & a good father, through & through, my Beloved. I also saw in your wonderful picture a porta-pottie, which reminded me of my Rides. They were everywhere; He had me work through any issues I had, so I giggle a bit when I hear someone crab about one. Plus, I like to sleep in a tent, feeling so rested when I awake because of my night’s sleep in open air. I used to get irritated by the thought of getting out of my snuggly camping cocoon to go out in the cold to pee, but the older I got, I released that irritation, too, because it’s such a small part of the larger adventure. Now I just prepare for the inevitable & embrace it as part of my fun journey. Uncharacteristically, I slept in this morning, got up, & then went back to bed. Today will be a quiet day at home for me except for talking with you. I have given to all as He has asked, & my body is telling me to chill, so I look forward to relaxing a bit. I’d like to mow the lawn today, although it can wait, too. The only energy I get for the thought of doing it (which I usually like) is when I smile & laugh at my thoughts replaying in my head your lawn-mowing video ending. You crack me up! Right now, I may just go post this & come home. (Ok, maybe I’ll listen to & watch a couple of your videos, too.) I have a few more 2000’s whirling in my head to share with you, so I’ll try working on those, but I don’t know if they’ll get finished today or not. I’m just going with the flow…& the flow is telling me right now to slow my butt down, at least for today. So, as Clarissa & I have determined is the appropriate terminology, I’m going to enjoy some Norwegian putzing around my house today. I am free, healthy, peaceful, & in love. I am happy. Smiles :)
Minneapolis - origin of my
Minneapolis - origin of my 1999 & 2000 AIDS Rides. I'm clean of all but knew our Villagers suffer so I must do my part. I overcame my first fear of asking others for a handout… part was for me so I could participate & part was for others, those who would benefit from my new-found physicality. Next was my second fear…how was I going to peddle 500 miles? The concept was monumentally daunting, but pit stops every 20ish miles told me I could do it because I’d already biked that length of baby step & they are what make up the whole. Support crew in “Born Free” sized trucks would haul our bags & all things needed for our nightly tent cities; other vehicles would pick up bikers who couldn’t make it & take them to our tent Village to gather strength & nerves to try it again tomorrow. I felt supported so I continued my months-of-fundraising-&-training journey. Arriving in Minneapolis the day before ‘lift off’ was magical; I knew I was to be there when one of the many supportive signs winked to my heart “We are the music makers & we are the dreamers of dreams.” I have a picture of it with friends, one of whom lived in the UP (who after my 2nd Ride included me in his Marquette article available thanks to Google). Wouldn’t you know, though, 12 miles outside of ‘home’ on my first day of my first Ride of what was to be my first 100 miles in a day ride, my bike broke so the crew picked me up & took me to camp. I cried in disappointment all the way. But my friend & co-rider, lifted my spirits & tech staff fixed my bike so I could continue. 97 miles were all that was scheduled the next day but my stubborn blonde Norwegian-ness had me riding my bike around in the parking lot for 3 miles at the end of the day so I could reach my goal. Changing my ways, I found out, is a process, a journey, filled with ‘baby steps action’ made up of what I know, believe, & the fears I overcome. I experience success when I love myself for what I know now & forgive myself for what I didn’t then. Smiles:)
After weeks, months, I don’t
After weeks, months, I don’t remember exactly when, He provided me with a green sweater last night at my neighbor’s who just broke up with his girlfriend. He & his buddy had gone drinking, I mean, camping, this weekend :) & had chainsaws for the wood they brought back. Yikes! I enjoyed the level of redneck going on & laughed a lot, but often left their “shoulder angel vs. devil” conversations to be with you & dance with you to the radio. I loved being there with you. I left after about an hour so I could write to you last night; I guess I just needed a brief bit of company & a few laughs. I had other things in the works, but last night’s post is what my soul needed to say. On my return walk today, I stopped briefly to speak with a handyman on his porch which had a Swedish horse plaque, an American flag wind chime, and a Tin Man porch ornament (which winked to my heart) so I figured it was safe for a moment. I still don’t know how (I guess that’s His department) but I still believe in Minot. Its nickname is “The Magic City”, there’s a Norwegian stave church there & most importantly, you will be there…maybe He’ll give me more details tomorrow. It’s a special day for it’s my mom’s birthday. My dad’s is 4 days later (21st). They were both born in 1944, so for 4 days he would embrace calling her his old lady :) But He is bringing me my own green sweater tomorrow (in road trip preparation), plus I have some Dump Truck & a DiGiorno so it’ll be a good night. I have my carry on size suitcase out so I think I’ll start packing, too. That’ll help. I didn’t get to all you posts…library tomorrow. I’ll post this for tonight, my love, but you continue to be in my every thought, moment, & deed. I feel you & can’t wait until I feel you. Following this, I wanted to share with you my Minneapolis thoughts I’d already written, so I’ll post those, too. Thank you for listening, my Beloved. P.S. I want to use all 2000 because I don’t want to say good night, but I will…sweet dreams, my love
Oh, it feels sooo good to see
Oh, it feels sooo good to see you! Seeing you, your smiling face, & knowing you were home with your family in Detroit brought me such joy today! Thank you for communicating. As I’m writing this ‘God Bless the Broken Road’ is playing. I haven’t ever seen an F-18 show so I'm excited for next year! And I am so happy you had so much fun! The Detroit River sounds absolutely wonderful & I would love be there right now…I love to jet ski, ride in a boat, & other FUN things! I can’t wait! PICTURE is playing right now…thanks for calling. I’m calling back. I feel you. I switched to the Brewery. Debbie got the call it was time to let go of her sister, so I held her as she sobbed. I helped Cassie close up so she could go be with her aunt; we talked about losing people; she hasn’t ever lost anyone close so she didn’t understand how they ‘knew it was time’ but He had me there to explain things. She said although she doesn’t go to church or know the Bible, she believes in God, so I gave her the cliff notes version of Love Him, love our neighbors as ourselves, & be in service to our brothers & sisters (which I told her she was already doing so don't worry & I lost track of how many hugs we shared). Wait, tour boats? Princess, oh, Princess :) Thank you for sharing with me you’re working on your album…I try not to wonder, for I know wherever you are, all is well, but thank you, again, for communicating with me. I love that you are very excited & feeling inspired! What wonderful words to hear from you & what that means in your breath-taking artistry. I can’t wait for it to hit the shelves (or your internet stream). For the first time, I don’t have a traditional society-dubbed legitimate job (not that I don’t keep trying), but I do His work constantly & faithfully, so I am working at trusting Him for His provision. It challenges me because I have always worked hard, but I have faith & continue to serve Him by loving His spirit in each of us. I have soul peace with your post. I ROCK ON.
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