Kid Rock "Born Free" Publicity Image #4

In my haze last night of soul healing from your profound genius, a bright, happy memory came through. I caught the last few minutes of a 1972 episode of “Hee Haw” which I had forgotten I watched every week. I laughed at the corniness of the cornfield jokes, still for some reason enjoyed hearing Buck Owens sing, and was blessed to hear your father sing his father’s song, which I have sung all my life because my father sang it – “Jambalaya On The Bayou.” I was too young, so I never remembered the name, nor did further research...until now. I was rewarded with the beauty of all the other songs my father sang of your lineage, so I got to hear them again and re-live beautiful soul moments in which I danced the night away while my father sang “I Saw The Light,” “Hey Good Lookin,” “Honkey Tonk Blues,” “Your Cheatin’ Heart,” “Blue Eyes Cryin’ In The Rain,” and “Kaw-Liga.” They have always been a part of my soul, the one you helped heal so completely through your artistry. How can I thank you for all that you are, all the deep pain and the joy you have experienced, that has made you into your beautiful soul, Robert James Ritchie? All I have, yet I have it all, is this love I feel for you in my heart...a heart, too, that has experienced deep pain and joy, but nothing remotely close to what I feel for you (believe me, it snuck up and holds me like nothing I have ever known). All I know is the ground has been shaking underneath my feet (& spinning & swirling) now for the last few months and you have re-defined my old beliefs. God always heard my soul’s deepest cries, but my pain and disillusionment were the strongest walls, reminding me of a Sonia Dada line from “Paradise” off my favorite album “My Secret Life”: “The walls we build for protection when you see them from the other side a prison whose gates close and lock from the inside.” The Montana sky this morning reflects my peaceful soul healing with stars twinkling and a bright half moon – missing it’s other half.

No drama. I can’t and won’t do it either. I’ve had too much in my life as it is. I really thought, believed, hoped, and prayed this was different, but painful reality is setting in. Feeling numb and foolish. I know it takes two and I can’t do it in a vacuum. I rolled the dice and lost. Such is life. Wow, what I can create in my own mind. No hard feelings. Well, this is hard for me but I don’t feel it towards you. My heart will heal some day, I hope. Right now I have absolutely no idea how, but thankfully His mercies are new each day. So I’ll take it one day at a time. Fly and be free, my Beloved, for it is your happiness that I wish, hope, and pray for above my own and will continue to do so. I hope and wish the best for you tomorrow night and all the days and nights to follow. Your historic collaboration will be a beautiful and magical night. Thank you for all you do for everyone. Thank you for the hardest, yet most beautifully exquisite 1 ½ years of my life. You were worth every minute. God bless you. And He does.

WOW!?! This bright sunny Montana morning is like none other! More than 12 wild turkeys in the pasture (with those troublesome sprinklers)!!! Being a novice, at least 5, I can tell, are male with the full plumage. I have never seen it before - only in pictures and now it's out my window as I am typing!?! Crazy awesome!!! They all, however, appear to be interested in only one of the multiple females, but it's a fascinating opportunity to watch them meander through the grass towards another property. Way better than watchin' dead flowers grow :) Ah, God is good. Good morning, my Beloved. I hope you have a Wonderful Wednesday!

While understanding hurt silence from the abyss, my heart can’t take anymore than this. In no way rejecting true love and bliss, but vulnerable and exposed, my eyes need time to clear their mist.