So while everyone's in the D: Random ~ THE ROAD TRIP Vol. I

First: FUCK Y'ALL! (Remember a few years ago in the pouring rain...?)

OK. Now that that's outta the way...A few weeks ago, me and my guy went on a long and much needed getaway...a road trip to Lousiana (From the heart of Texas).

Road trip rules:
1. No major highways
2. No food at commerial places
3. Good music

We took off on a Friday about 10:00 in the morning headed to Shreveport...upper left side of LA, right across the border of TX/LA...big gambling spot. Anyhoo...Jody & I had already decided we would only use $XX to gamble on. Mind you, this was Jody's first time ever to a casino and hell, my 3rd, but still...my first was with Ang (<---- Haaaaahaaahaaaa...good times, my friends) and second on a business trip so I'd say I'm definately not an experienced gamber.

The trip through east Texas into Lousiana was awesome taking the backroads. We went through tons of little towns with populations less than 5000 and all I could think about was..Damn, it sucks to be you! ; )

Got to LA around 3 and our room wasn't ready so we went ahead and gassed the truck up for the next days trip and checked out the town a bit. Still wasn't ready so we headed to the casino and found a black jack table with nobody at it (Mistake #1). It was a $10 table (Mistake #2). We both sat down (Mistake #3).

See where I'm headed here????

I swear to god...FUCK'N NOT EVEN 10 MINUTES LATER...we had blown $100. Needless to say, our gambling luck (or skills) didn't change much. We did get our "drink on" at the bar playing video poker...but then soon grew bored and headed to a comedy club. Props to our taxi driver (there and back ~ YOU ROCK) ***To Kev: I soooooooo fucked with cabby...and thought of you the whole time! LOL

HOLY FUCK! I nearly had to be carried out from rolling on the floor LAUGHING my fucking ass off!

The headlining comedian was HILARIOUS! Ok, so there was this group of about 10 firemen on the front row getting WASTED and raising hell. The comedian totally latched on to the opportunity and ran with it. Me & HoHo were sitting on the back row floor a few tables behind the firemen but out of the spotlot. Anyway, this guy at the table next to us on the right gets up to go to the bathroom (MISTAKE #1). Of course the comedian starts fuckiing with him immediately..."Have a nice shit", etc...

As soon as the guy gets in the bathroom, the comedian says "ok, here's what we're gonna do...". He preceded to instruct us that as soon as the guy comes out of the bathroom, he would stop talking and that we are immediatly to start hooping and hollering and raising hell...which at that time, fireman A would walk up to the shitting dude and start dry humping him in his ear.

Guess what?

Fireman A went to the wrong house.

YEP!!! He walked over and started humping Jody...!!! Jody was like "what the fuck???" "Not me dude...HIM (pointing to the shitter). I thought I was gonna piss my pants. Jody and Fireman A instantly became the punchlines for the rest of the show.

Finally got back to our hotel..RADIO EDIT...cut to the next morning.

I got up around 8 and wanted to go try some slots but couldn't get Jody's ass outta bed so decided to go by myself. I, seriously, was in my pjs and headed down. Mind you, we were on top floor at the end of the hall. I headed out 3 fucking times before I had everything I needed (cigs, $, that tag thingie, etc) and when I finally made it down to the casino...they decided to ID me!!! "I need your ID"..."It's in my room"..."Well, you need to go get it"...ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!??? Ok, I didn't say that hell, I was on a mission to win at slots so I turned my ass around and headed back to our room to retrieve my ID. 15 minutes later, I'm passing through security...and get the "Sorry...you don't look a day over 30" speech...whatever.

Spent 3 hours drinking a shit load of coffee, lost $30 on slots and was ready to hit the road to "The Most Haunted House in America"...

T0 BE CONTINUED...